
I try to teach my kids to be careful with books but it doesn’t work with two-year-old Sarah. She has a very physical relationship with books. The ones she loves best she bends their covers until they break (Favourite Fairy Tales), tears out the lift-the-flaps (Hop Little Bunnies), scribbles on the faces of the characters (That’s Not My Llama). ‘She’s getting the paperbacks!’ her brother called out urgently once.
Watching her stand on Favourite Fairy Tales this morning, I suddenly remembered a sermon from when I was thirteen. The preacher said that a worn-out, underlined Bible was the sign of a faithful Christian. Until then I’d been quite careful with my NIV Study Bible, the grown up Bible presented to me at age nine, but after that I took to it with pencils and highlighters and it bears my earnest, naive annotations of the next five years. The Gideons had also just come to my (public) school and the farmer from my church with pulled-up socks had presented my maths class with small red New Testaments. Taking the preacher even more literally, I was rough with that Bible, trying to bend and scuff it into premature worn-ness to demonstrate my piety.
As a young adult I was proudly impervious to the physicality of books. My tatty paperback copies of my favourite novels, JD Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye and Paul Auster’s Moon Palace, were a sign I only cared about what mattered. In my first job, I was Secret Santa to a woman I fancied and I thought it was appropriate to give her yellowed copies of John Fowles novels. I think she was at least in no doubt about her Secret Santa’s identity.
I’m the opposite today. I love beautiful books with elegant dust jackets, straight spines, well-designed covers. On my birthday back in March, just before the pandemic really hit, I browsed a secondhand bookshop and came out with a dust-jacketed first edition of Moon Palace to place alongside that tatty copy Paul Auster signed for me at the 2008 Adelaide Writers’ Festival.
Hi Nathan – I must return Intimate Strangers to you.
When is a good time?
Trevor
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Hi Trevor! I’ll send you a message.
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My father was anal about books and I think he passed it on. But I did relax enough to let my kids (and grandkids) read the books I had as a child AND to look the other way (with a tear in my eye) when they tore or drew on them. My favourite book, as a book, might be an early edition Pea Pickers I got from the glass case in Crow Books.
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That was a find! Crow also had KSP’s Winged Seeds in a dust jacket just when I wanted to read it.
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I don’t remember The Offspring being brutal with books, so I was devastated when Silky Terrier No #3 attacked books on the bottom shelf in the hall. She tore the spine off a lovely old copy of Dear Enemy which I had treasured since I was a teenager.
There is only one solution and that is 24/7 surveillance. At least you have a vigilant little helper!
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Oh no, that terrier made herself unpopular! I am amazed that Sarah has not wrecked any of my books yet, and she no longer tears pages, so we’ve made progress.
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If she’s a smart kid, and I’m sure she is, you can get books like colouring books for her and take her through the text features of those compared to story books, and then remind her in moments of peril that ‘we only write in these books, not those ones….
In my experience, starting any prohibition with an appeal to group membership i.e. we don’t bite/hit/throw food on the floor etc, appeals to a child’s desire to belong…
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Thanks Lisa, good advice!
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I’m so with you on this. In fact, it was probably part of my over-book-buying in my younger days. Unlike people who love second-hand books, to me a book is at its second-most exciting when it is spotless and new on the shelf at the bookstore. It’s *most* exciting in the bag on the way home. I got pretty handy in my time at reading a paperback without breaking the spine just because I loved to preserve that “new book” feel for as long as possible
However, as I’ve discovered when either the kids crushes a cover on an old favourite (or even seeing that I do a bit of damage just by lugging my latest book/s around in a bag on the train), perhaps my overly protective stance towards books needs to loosen up a bit. It is possible that this is part of that thing where I’m really just grieving the transitory nature of life and damaged books are a metaphor for aging …
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Yes, well put! Books are so tied up to denials / deferrals of aging and mortality for me.
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